I'm sure we've all described another person we know or have met that we describe as being 'stoic' in their attitude towards a difficult experience or a lifetime of challenges.

We imagine a steely resolve and an immovable perspective centred on the understanding that life is not always fair, nor should it be.

 The Stoics viewpoint is that reacting to situations that are outwith our control is, quite frankly, pointless. This rule is general in its nature, but specific in its application. 

Consider sport as an example. You might find yourself watching the soccer World Cup tournament taking place in Qatar at the moment.

Consider then that sport is a reflection of our lives: there is always something to learn from any experience; the challenge is to recognise and apply it.

So, in football, as in life, there is a plethora of variables that cannot be controlled by the athlete as an individual, or even more so as an athlete taking part in a team sport. 

Consequently, acknowledging and letting go of the incontrollable, and focusing entirely on that which can demonstrably be controlled, can be very helpful in enhancing performance.

Of course, none of this is easy, but it is nonetheless essential if we are to understand life in general, and our own journey in particular.

As a Logotherapist & Existential Analyst, a vital component of the work I do with clients is to help them discover new meaning in difficult situations. That is indeed a broad statement, but consider the vicissitudes of relationships, bereavement, coming to terms with chronic illness, and finding one's way in the world. 

Viktor Frankl, the founder of Logotherapy & Existential Analysis, was cognizant of the wisdom of the Stoic Philosophers. 

Indeed, one of his most famous quotations, and a pillar of Logotherapy is this: "When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves."

Such an outlook can enhance our performance in sport, but it can re-orientate our wider life perspective by focussing all of our effort on that which we can change, acknowledge that which we cannot, and move forward in hope.

Journey well,

Scott 

Although some may criticise Sara Teasdale's poetry as being relatively unsophisticated, I find it emotionally evocative and poignant. Take her 'Let It Be Forgotten' poem: it may well be short, but as with all good poetry, it makes one stand back for a second, and to think...........

Let it be forgotten, as a flower is forgotten,

Forgotten as a fire that once was singing gold,

Let it be forgotten for ever and ever,

Time is a kind friend, he will make us old.

If anyone asks, say it was forgotten

Long and long ago,

As a flower, as a fire, as a hushed footfall

In a long forgotten snow.

I often wrestle with the realities of 'letting go', reflecting on the pain of letting someone or something go their own way. Acknowledging the welter of emotions, and indeed the intrinsic desire to hold on, at any cost, is the first step.

Then there is the actual process of letting go. I sometimes encourage clients to imagine those emotions, in their minds eye, written on a piece of paper, plucked out of the air and placed in a slow flowing river.  Watching those words and associated emotions drift away can be a powerful experience.

But what about forgetting? We can be beholden to images and experience of the past, the things that coalesce as memories - of laughter, but also of hurt; the memory of being misunderstood, or judged, make a seemingly indelible mark.

Yet, despite the power of the past, with therapy, we may become increasingly cognisant of the fact that our lives are not all about looking back, but about living in the present with an eye to the future. 

There is meaning in the moment, a meaning that helps us to see more clearly, allowing us to appreciate what we do have, and building on that.

Psychologically, forgetting is problematic, and it may indeed be impossible. We can do however, is to take that painful experience and shape it to our benefit; by re-engaging with it, and seeing it retrospectively, we can embrace what it has taught us.

Of course, none of this is easy, but it is nonetheless essential if we are to understand life in general, and our own journey in particular.

Journey well,

Scott